Life

Is good. I am happy, and that makes people around me happy, which makes them like sitting with me, which makes me happy, which creates this huge snowball of joy. Yay snowballs of joy! I baked more muffins. They are now...

CONFUSION MUFFINS!!!!!

They are whole wheat spice, with allspice and cinnamon and nutmeg. the batter is tasty, I dunno how the muffins themselves will turn out. Will post pics later. But yeah, they are confusion muffins. Because people are being confusing. It was really funny. So my grandma is staying with me while my parents are in France, and we were wondering where the word allspice came from, and apparently, allspice is supposed to smell like a mix of the spices cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Interesting, huh? I'm sittint here and there are all these amazing smells wafting over from the oven...reminds me of fall. I think I have found my new recipe. We have been baking a lot today. My grandma's mother cooked and baked a lot, and she has this big recipe box, which my mom got. I have never really looked through it, but today, Grama madean apricot jello salad thing and it looks really good, the recipe was her mother's from said recipe box. If only it were in the low 60s outside, that would make all these smells so much more appropriate...

I need to go to bed but...

I'm happy. I am really happy. And Grey's Anatomy started, which makes me happy, but also makes me sad. But I am confused. I think I might be covering confusion with blond happiness. I dunno.

But I need sleep, and this I know. G'night.

Yom Kippur 2007

So this year was the first year I fasted. I didnt totally make it through. I had some cheddar bunnies, but that's it. However, as I was standing at Ne'ila, the conclusion service of the holiday, I had this weird feeling of this energy coursing through my veins. It was insane because I was standing there (you stand for the whole service of ne'ila) and I felt like I would either pass out or throw up from my head ache, and then there was this energy. It made me feel weak.
Weaker than I already was...Then I was reading this prayer and my mom leaned over to me and said that the poetic english translation only seemed right when it was fall, because it was talking about closing gates and a close to the year, and with fall being the season that Yom Kippur usually falls in it all felt right with the days getting shorter and the colors and everything. Now I will announce that I am moving next year to Massachusetts. It will be hard, but it is the right thing for our family to do now. All my friends--I will miss you all, and I will come back and visit. Anyway, in past years, that poem-prayer thing never really affected me, but no I really started to miss fall. I mean, maybe you dont miss it when you know you can;t have it, but once you know that youw could, or that you will have it, just not this year, you miss it so much. That's what happened. I felt so sad, I started to tear up. Then we read Avinu Malkenu, and I just wanted to cry...It was amazing. I really felt more connected to God than I ever have in the past. I felt all this renewed trust and faith in God. It was amazing. Mom said that I got out of the High Holidays what everybody wants to get but doesn't necessarily.

So yay.

More emotion muffins

I am turning into Izzie Stevens. I lie on the floor when I'm depressed and I bake muffins...4 dozen was my total count today. This weekend was 5 dozen plus a batch of cookies and some really gross brownies.



those were the only good ones. ^^^

The vanilla is the best. So I am now officially a muffin and cookie and sometimes bread person.

Poetry

So my English teacher assigned us to projects.
1. Write a poem about an inanimate object small enough to fit in your closed hand.
2. Write a poem inspired by another poem.

I have taken this to heart. I have decided that throughout the year, I will write poetry and put in cool fonts and colors and everythig and then at the end of the year I will bind it all..

So yay for Sarah.

What a day...

I woke up and fell asleep for another 20 minutes. Then I took a shower and used conditioner before shampoo. Then, I tried to put on make up and I forgot my moisturizer. Then I could get my eyeliner on right. I got dressed, which went fine, but then I had to make my lunch. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I practically failed. It was terrible. Then I went to school. I almost went the wrong direction to my locker, and then it took me a few seconds to get to my locker. Then I tried to get a book out of my locker while holding to other notebooks in each hand. In Biology, I almost used the coarse focus when I was on high power. In french class, I forgot to tear off the little edge thing on my quiz paper. In Orchestra, I couldn't figure out how to use the copy machine. In math, I forgot what perpendicular meant. At Lunch...whatever. Stuff went down. In US History...nothing happened. In English...right. I went a little nuts and started reading poetry out loud with really crazy voices to Caroline and decided to write my own poem about a grape.

Crazy day. Happy Rosh Hashanah...

But dinner was great. I have a stuffy nose from the challah. I am yearning for the holidays again, but they are on their way...It has begun with Rosh Hashanah. And no homework! I seriously came home with like...my agenda. That's it. It was amazing.

My mind is going insane. I hate that, when you feel like you have no idea what you are thinking or how to control it. Wish me luck getting to sleep.

Love you all!

Another thing, if youa re reading this, I beg that you comment, just so that I know you are reading my entries. I have a terrible feeling that I am writing this for my own benefit, like a diary that somebody can look at if they want but they figure my life is too boring to bother. Not really. But yeah, just let me know that you are reading it. Like I said, I have a terrible feeling that nobody is reading this.

That is all.

September

I hate September. I mean, yeah, my best friend's birthday is in September, and there are a few really good looking movies coming out this September, but other than that, why is it here? I mean, we go back to school in August. And then it is hot and disgusting here in FL until late October! I think we should just skip September, and put Mel's b-day in like October, or December or something... It's almost half way over. Thank God.

September

I hate September. I mean, yeah, my best friend's birthday is in September, and there are a few really good looking movies coming out this September, but other than that, why is it here? I mean, we go back to school in August. And then it is hot and disgusting here in FL until late October! I think we should just skip September, and put Mel's b-day in like October, or December or something....

You know what I love?

Christmas. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I am not even Christian. I dont even bring in the customs like some people do. I just love Christmas. The holiday season is so amazing. That and fall are my two favorite times of the year. I love shopping around Christmas time. I love most Christmas music. Everybody is so forgiving and happy, and it is kind of sad, something about it is sad, too. Like..there is always that vibe that there are people outthere spending it alone (God, what a cliche...) and people who will commit suicide or something (Ok, not anymore, it's all good.). And then there are the movies. So many good movies. See what brought this on was I woke up listening to this song:

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

That would make anybody long for and feel depressed about the Holidays.

Once, my Dad had to get surgery in the winter, so we all flew up to Massachusetts because the best doctor we could find was there. It was originally just to visit him and see how he was but he was all, like, Hey, I have Christmas open, want to have the surgery then? And my parents said yes, because it made a lot of sense. So for the four days that they went in, I stayed with my cousin Lizzy and my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt's side of the family is Christian, and they (my cousin, aunt, and uncle) went up to celebrate Christmas with them. I was there, so they obviously dragged me with them. It was my first real Christmas experience, and it was a white Christmas. It was amazing. The family made me feel very at home. I had a whole stocking. It was really an amazing experience. And the snow! So beautiful.

We could get the same thing with Hannukah, but we don't. I think it is because we don't have any Jewish family around. And for the past few years, I have been in a Hebrew School that really isn't the right place for me. I never really felt right there, which may have been why some of the holiday stuff they did never really "did it" for me.

I really can't wait for the Holidays. For me, it is a whole string of happiness. I have my birthday in November, then Thanksgiving like a week later, then Hannukah, or Christmas, whichever comes first, and then New Year. Oh, and then there is Halloween a while before my birthday. So I guess from Halloween to the New Year and then the nice winter days in January and February and a little in March.

March always bugged me a little. I don't know why.