MUFFINZES!!!!!!

OMG so I made muffins today!! They are so good...I pushed rasberries into the top...sooo good.

That is all.

Grey's Anatomy

It makes me over-emotional. I finally figured it out. I just fnished watching the second season on DVD and I feel like lying in a big field because it's rainng and I just want to go away. I am so confused about things. And I feel guilty because I feel confused about things that really are totally simple compared to a lot of other peoples' problems. So basically, I feel really confused and then I feel guilty for feeling confused about what I am confused about which makes me miserable and makes me wanna go lie in a field when it is raining. The best part is I don't really know what the hell I am confused about. I try to think of what I am confused about and I can't really think of anything except for one thing which I really can't make any decisions about at this point because there is no way for the situation to move forward.

Right now, I am hot and sticky, I have a head ache, and I feel like eating my mom's home made strawberry orange ice cream. So I am going to go change into shorts, eat some ice cream, and then go to sleep. Maybe watch Pride and Prejudice.

I really need some change in my life. Like, social change. Like, not just get a boyfriend because honestly I have lately been doubting how happy that could actually make me. I just...need somebody new. Like, a breath of fresh air. No offense to my dear friends who are reading this, but I need new faces. My mom talked about what it would be like to move up here to Massachusetts. My dad would send me to a legit New England private school. I would become a legit prep. Weird, huh? But the weirdest part, and the hardest part for me to understand, is that I didn't just instantly say no, I can't leave my friends and my school. I actually sort of thought about what it would be like to move. There would be new people to meet, to get to know, to hate, to love. But then I thought about all the friendships I have here building and getting stronger. No worries, everybody, I am staying, as far as I know.

I really need ice cream.

ITALY 2!

IF YOU ARE READING AN ITALY POST FOR THE FIRST TIME, SCROLL DOWN TO THE FIRST "ITALY!" POST.

After barely getting enough sleep, we woke in the morning to a water-less and fresh fruit-less breakfast. Oh, and if I didn't mention it before, my roomate was Kim. I love her..

So the second day we went to Lucca. Lucca is the birth place of Puccini and Boccherini and just all these people. It was pretty nice, but kind of boring at the same time...one thing that pissed me off was that instead of looking at the art in the churches (which was veeery interesting..not your typical gothic cathedrals; older, i think), we got to go see the back halls of the conservatry of music. The back halls and the offices. Whoop dee fricking doo. But other than that it was nice. My group was good for the most part and I had an acceptable lunch, although it was hard to eat. Bruschetta. On a huge piece of bread. it all fell off. And the tomatoes were not that great. I keep complaining about the food...and with all the walking it is now wonder I lost like 5 pounds while away. MY GOD I KEEP GOING OFF ON RANDOM SUBJECTS. SO back to Lucca. I bought a purse for myself because I really needed a bigger bag to put maps and dictionary and cameras and stuff in. It's nice. about $18 and poorer quality ones are like $20-25 at Old Navy. I also got my mom a little olive wood vase. The area in which Lucca is located is ver well known for its olive trees, as is all of Italy. There was this tower in Lucca with a garden on top, but I didn't get to see it.

Overall, I think Lucca was quite nice, but we were all crazy jet lagged and the organization was kind of messed up and we had troubles with my Visa Buxx. When I bought the vase (which was 6 euro) I think the lady didn't want to deal with a debit for that small an amount, so I think she made it not work.

That night was the Opening Ceremony. All the choruses met at the outside of the Tettuccio Spa and were handed candles. Then, a group of drummers and flag throwers marched up. This flag throwing thing is really incredible...

They dance around and the throwing is all in rythm with the drums and they are so coordinated and they throw the flags like all across the piazza...It is intensely cool.

So then we all walked up the hill to the other spa, the Toretta, and they did another show. I Then we all blew out our candles, or the others did because I didn't take one, and went into the spa. It was beautiful, but not nearly as nice as Tettuccio was going to be. I hadn't been inside it yet.

Inside the spa, the mayor of Montecatini Terme and some other officials all said welcomes and all the stuff they were expected to say. It was then slowly translated into three other languages besides Italian. German, French, and English. I actually understood most of the French. Then a local chorus performed. They were....quite unimpressive. Really didn't hold together, not good voices, but they looked like they were having fun, which is good. The did Va Pensiero, and we did Va Pensiero and we did better and they are Italian. Va Pensiero is basically right next to the national anthem of Italy in importance to the people. It was really ironic.

After all that we just went back to the hotel and crashed. I think that was the first night I was up until 2:30 AM talking with Kim...

Damn.

As the days go by, I am becoming more and more of a romantic than I was when I started this blog to get my feelings off my back. Fnny ol' world, isn't it? Maybe it was Italy that did it. But I just find myself...not miserable. Like, it isn't what it was when I was miserably single and just using romantic-ness as an excuse. Now it is like, just day dreaming a lot more and swooning over many things unattainable and loving fictional characters (ahem Mr. Darcy ahem).

I guess the book I am reading, Me and Mr. Darcy isn't helping. And in order to explain it I would give it away, so I will not be telling what it is about.

I love Jane Austen..She is so amazing. Didn't she say once that all her characters would have everything they wanted, or something like that? It is totally true. I mean, yes they go through hard times, which makes them so real and easy to relate to. Her books are not your average love story. Instead of the knight almost being killed by a dragon, Mr. Willoughby has to marry for money, or chooses to marry for money, or whatever, I haven't finished Sense and Sensibility yet. But then in the end Marianne ends up marrying the man in love with her and the one that she loves, not the one she lusts for. Lusts. Do you lust for somebody or do you just lust?

ANYHOO! Yeah, Jane Austen definitely gives her characters all that they want. But then as she does she mixes in elements of how it would be in the real world. So my question is, does she stay consistant? In life, will we have those hard times and then come through and get what we want?

ITALY!!!!

So it turns out that I did not havce enough time to keep a diary in Italy. So instead, I am just going to tell as much as I can in separate seperate can't remember how to spell it entries. I will do a different entry for each day.

So the first day. Mom and I got up early to take my Grandfather to the hospital for an appointment. Then we chilled at starbucks for an hour or two. Then we all met up and took a charter bus to the airport at Tampa, where mom and I parted ways. She went back to Massachusetts and I went on to Charlotte. From Charlotte, we flew Lufthansa to Munich. Oh my GOD. The flight took such a long time. It was kind of fun though..I couldn't sleep at all. People got some great photos of Maestro and Mr. Holt sleeping. Lucky guys, they could. The movies were Catch and Release and Freedom Writers, both of which are good-ish, but I had seen Catch and Release before and I cannot stand Hillary Swank. And there wasn't enough of Patrick Dempsey in Freedom Writers to counter balance Hillary. So we got into Munich and from there we flew to Florence and then took a bus into Montecatini Terme. We flew over night so we got there during like the early afternoon or something. We took a quick walking tour of Montecatini Terme.



Then we went back to the hotel chilled and ate dinner.

Oh Man. The food was sooo bad. Like, really really terrible. It tastes like it comes out of a can. I mean, it isn't inedible, but I expected better from Italy, you know? Like, no fresh fruit in the mornings is in my opinion a sin at hotels in Europe. Other than that, the service was great, the people were very nice, they spoke English very well and the rooms were clean if not small. They were well kept and the location was nice. Not too far from down town, but not much car traffic, mostly just motor scooters going up and down the alleys which is annoying, but cannot be avoided when staying in anything but a farm house, generally. The first day was pretty un eventful.

I have to go eat home made strawberry buttermilk sorbet now (oh calamity).

Yes, my mom bought an ice cream maker. Dear God.