November 24, 2007


I have this feeling like Im inside a cage. But not a cage. Like, im trapped but not in a cage. Or rather, the whole world is a cage. I feel like there is something knawing at my side and no matter where I go, I will not be able to escape it, not the mall, not Barnes and Noble, not Paris, not even Massachusetts. I have no idea what this monster is but it is new to me, and i intend to wallow in it so that i can sunddenly trap it and find out what it is.


I have realized a few thing...

1. Flames are absolutely entrancing; you could stare at them for hours.
2. Semicolons are totally useless. ugh.
3. the moon on a clear night is also amazingly entrancing.
4. Acting is what I want to do for the rest of my life and it scares the hell out of me.
5. If I dont succeed at something, I sometimes end up rivaling against myself to win at the second try, to prove to myself that i can do better. But only sometimes. Never with the important stuff.
6. I have really twisted ideas of how to make people think what I want them to think, and it is a 50/50 chance of working or not.
7. number 6 made no sense at all.
8. I really love doing geometric constructions.
9. I want to do an art photoshoot. Wouldn't that be fun?
10. I have no other realizations.
11. JUST KIDDING! I can't stand when people spend their whole day on myspace posting stupid bulletins.

Ok that's really it.

11/21-11/23 2007

I havent been keeping up with things. I feel bad. So now, I am going to give you a day by day account of what has happened since wednesday.

So Wednesday morning, I got up and started getting ready for my party that night. It was rather uneventful. I fought with the parental units about music practice, as usual. I cleaned. I did get my brows waxed that morning (ouchy). then I baked a cake. Jen showed up early, and Dan showed up earlier. So we were just sitting around, right, and I was decorating the cake. I started to run out of time, so I couldn't finish decorating so I left it to my mom while I did makeup and got dressed. I wore a tres cute tights, red silk dress, black wedg-ishes, a silver lacey belt.

That isnt that great a pic, but whatever, gives you and idea. So the party was great. Mostly. I had a weird time in the middle somewhere where I kind of freaked out about moving. Honestly, I started crying, and sort of...well not having a fit, but I couldnt breathe calmly and it was just really intense. Nobody saw though. After that i guess I kind of got it all out of my system and was a lot more in that dancing high party mode. It was good. So anyway, we had cake, everybody loved it, and Kira was taking all these pictures. It was pretty good. It was a formal ish party, so we had steak, pasta, and salad at a nice table with table cloths and realy plates and silverwear and candles and roses and everything. It was really nice. Then everybody went home and I went to sleep.

The next day, Thursday, I didnt do much. Watched Lord of the Rings 1, which was a present (well, the trilogy). Worked on projects. Practiced. OH YEAH! Thursday was Thanksgiving! So I went to this dinner, where I didnt REALLY know the people there...but the food was good and I got to watch Bourne Supremacy, even though I hadnt seen Bourne Identity. But whatever.

Yesterday, I woke up kind of late...watched the episode of Grey's Anatomy I had missed the night before, worked on some projects, and then i cleaned out my bathroom. Rather, my mom cleaned out my bathroom, and i told her what to throw away and what not to. But it had a really crazy effect. I am now hving a sort of emotional break down about moving. Its so crazy, I mean, I have all these friends and connections... and I am sure it is the right thing to do, but it is so daunting. Then I watched both Lord of the Rings 2 and 3. I cried at the end of 3, I always do..But this time I kept crying. I am going craaazy!! I need to do something calming. I dunno waht though. and of course, my parents wont take me seriously. I try to tell them about these kinds of things, and they are great and help me when I have a fever, or when I am throwing up, but when I say I need some kind of mental health day, they just...its like they dont know what it is. But whatever. We will see if the weekend goes better.

So now, I will leave you witht the question of the century. Its complicated, so pay attention. You are going to move at the end of the year. You love this one person, lets call the person Person X. You are kind of sure they like you back. So you have two choices: Tell Person X you love him or her, or don't. If you do tell Person X, he or she will either admit to their affection for you, or reject you and leave you broken hearted and confused. If you dont tell him or her, you will always live wondering if something could have happened there. What do you do?

BTW, this is not a current situation of mine, it is a past one.

Dearie me.

November 19, 2007


So. I am now 14! It took a while for me to get a blog down on it but anyway, here it is..

So I will go over my weekend. I woke up and my Dad made me bacon and jelly omelettes (emelettes with jelly--yeah it sounds gross but it is actually really good), and while we ate it we listened to The Best of Cream. It was kind of hilarious. Anyway since then I have been kind of obsessed with Cream, and like..listening a lot. OH and the stuff my parents got for me! My mom was out of town, but she left stuff with dad to give to me. Mum gave me some Betsey Johnson earrings and dad gave me a portable water color set, it is so cute! So moving right along, my Grandfather then picked me up and we went shopping. I was looking for a new dress, and Doc (my grandpa) found one that I totaly love, red silk. Tres gorgeous. We also went to Mac (makeup) and I got a makepver, and it was sort of intense, but I ended up buying the lipstick and the eyeshadow and the lip liner. Then on the way out I got some perfume. It was so much fun, trying to find a dress with Doc and just having fun and stuff. Really good times. So then i went home for about an hour and got ready for Katie's party. There I did this Ouija Board thing, it was really wild. Strange, strange feeling. I think there is some validity in it all, I mena, it answered questions that nobody else on the marker moved. The party was fun, that was basically all I did.

Then on Sunday, I practiced music and stuff, and Dad and I went out to lunch at Mel's DIner, which is a really cute little place. We went home ad I baked cupcakes for my Drama class and for mum. I hardly got a chance to frost them! Then I went to my dad's art class and sat around doing nothing. It was pretty fun. Well, I did talk to my friends on the phone, finished homework, and started The Big Lebowski (which is an awesome movie, btw, go rent it). I also ate a whole sleeve of ritz crackers, it was terrible. After the art class we went home and I finished frosting the cupcakes, and then we went to pick mom up from the air port. I ended up getting to bed at like..midnight and waking up at like 7:30, and then falling asleep again until 10 of 8.

Today was pretty good. Its kid of relaxed these days since tomorrow is essentially Friday because of Thanksgiving. We watched a video on the Donner party today in History. It was really crazy. Would you eat your friends if you were really depsperate? Jen was asking that ALL DAY. I would not be able to bring myself to kill my friend, but if she died naturally, and I were REALLY desperate, I would probably eat. But cancel cancel, seriously! That would be so miserable, I would definitely be scarred for life.

November 16, 2007

Middle School Dance 1, '07

Oh my GOD! I just got back from the dance, which was so amazing!

So now that we are at the top of the pack, the eighth grade, we can do whatever the hell we want. we dont have to try to be cool to get in with the eighth graders, or's amazing. Like, so much fun! I was thinking I wouldn't go, but with my party animal friends, it was totally amazing. Morgan and Jen taught me to pop lock and drop it but apparently im not that good at it because I am too graceful, like a ballerina.

I requested Material Girl and Blister in the Sun, but they didnt play them.

So what else..that's all I remember.

All my love to whoever's reading, and remember to be happy tomorrow because IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!!!! THAT's RIGHT!


November 11, 2007

Cleaning the Closet.

That is the task I have been working on for quite a long time. Its tough. Lots of nostalgea. Lots of throwing things away. Lots of little critters that have been hiding. Actually, there has been a surprising deficiency of little critters, thank God. I went through my dress up box. I looked at all my beanie babies. Its so intense doing all this. Im almost done, and then I get to study for bio! WHOO! But I have a bit more tidying to do. CLoset is looking great. I made a playlist to listen to while ceaning or exercising. Lots of upbeat songs. Material Girl is on it. I was in all these dress ups I found dancing to Material Girl. It was amazing. Maybe it burned off the three donuts I had today. Ha. And my skin is clearing up which is awesome! But anyway, I am so tired after last night's party. I kep worrying that my nose is broken, but I think it would be hurting a LOT more if it were broken. I read about this woman who just found out last year that she had broken her nose in 2002. That was creepy. I was like, crap. And my whole body aches from falling so much. It was all totally worth it though.

November 10, 2007

What a day...

So it all started when I woke up at like 6:30 in the morning to take the SSAT to get into Deerfield Academy next year, and it was really intense. I had a dream that there would be five people there and guess what...THERE WERE 5 PEOPLE THERE. WOOOOH. So the test seemed pretty easy. We'll see when we get scores back. I'm pretty sure I did well. So that was like 9-12 ish. Dan was there..he ended up running into his old friend from St. Stephens, so they were all like Woo! and then we went out to lunch, Dan, his friend, his mom, my mom and me. First Watch. It was fun. We ended up leaving the mothers talking and going to Publix and wheeling Dan's friend around in a wheel chair because he "stubbed his toe". It was amazing. So then I was really tired. I went home and I ended up having to shave my legs because I had a pool party that night, so I was bummed. So I shaved my legs.

Then the party.

The wonderful AMAZING party.

It was a pool party, and Im not gonna say whose it was just in case people are like meh i wasnt invited, which would be stupid anyway but WHATEVER. Anyway. It was a salt-chlorine pool, so when I got out it was all screwy with my just shaved legs. It stung like hell. But it was so much fun in the pool...there was this big like floating matress...and me andi and Adrienne all got on it...and we couldnt stay on and it was fuun. FINALLY Jen showed up with Morgan, who crashed, and then Federico showed up eventually too. So it was basically me, Fed, Jen, Morgan, Adrienne and Andi the whole time. It was way fun. So we ate and played this game and then we all went out to the trampoline.

The trampoline.

So we were on the trampoline and so insane..we were like buzzed on life. There was no drinking or drugs, I assure you, but we were all acting totally insane. It was amazing. So all this stuff went down...One was when three of us were lying next to each other and FEDERICO JUMPED OVER US!! His elbow hit my nose, and it hurt like HELL. It is so bruised. It hurts to itch it. Gah. Its gonna be a balloon tomorrow. So then we were jumping around and like pretending to do these like tribal crazy cannibal was great. Fed went crazy. CRAY ZEE. He was like dancing around with his shirt over his face and was so funny. He kept trying to do flips but it didnt work...and all of this felt like so trippy because it was on a trampoline so the whole world was spinning was awesome. So we were just like so crazy..and then Jen had to go home. It was tres sad. But then it was Fed, me, and Adrienne and Andi, and so it was still fun, but we missed Jen. We were still crazy. So then me and Adrienne went home with Katie and Alexis.

OH and there was this one time where I had to get back into the house, and the door to the screen porch was locked, so I was begging Luke to let me in because he was playing ping pong, and I was all like Let a woolf in! and Katie was like, who would let in a wolf..and I was like LET A VERY VERY NICE WOOLF IN!!!

Man, it was just so amazing...I am so crazed right now. Exhausted. I had such a huge day. It feels like the weekend is over..and I have homework, a test to study for, History questions to do, AND a monologue for acting. Whoopee. AND to top it all off, my mom is leaving for a week tomorrow. She's going to miss my birthday. It makes me really sad, but I'll ne OK. I'm gonna miss her.

So that was my day...yeah.

November 08, 2007

I feel bad.

I havent blogged in a while. But after this Saturday, I will be back at it. I have this big board test on Saturday to get into Deerfield next year. Tres exciting. Anyway, life is pretty good in general. I am having kinda crazy bouts of bi polar ness. Like, happy sad happy sad happysadhappysadhappysad you get it. Grey's Anatomy is tonight, and I have to finish work before I watch, so I really cant write anymore. But I will leave you with a tres cute story..

This past Saturday, I took a walk in my neighborhood, starting around 8:15 and ending around 10:30. I went up to my bus stop and then over to Barnes and Noble when it opened for coffee. It was so much fun...out of the 14 people I saw, 7 said hello, 3 nodded, and 4 didn't acknowledge me at all, despite walking a foot away from me. Strange, eh?

I'm reading A Separate Peace...everybody hates it I think, but I actually really like it. Gasp! No surprise though, I loved Lord of the Flies, and everybody last year didnt like it...whatever. I am the girl-who-reads-Jane-Austen.

November 02, 2007

Halloween Pics...

Sorry about the turning the head thing...that was what I wore to school.


Then later that night as Elizabeth Bennet...The actual costume I took off too quickly that night, so here is the unfinal product and the hairstyle. Again sorry about the turning..

It was a fun day. The Twiggy Costume was SO much fun to wear...It has given me a great love of the and fashion. And of course music..What a fun time! It felt like everybody just did what they wanted. Except for that nasty little war we fought over in Vietnam. Well, every age has its drawbacks, eh?