Grey's Anatomy

It makes me over-emotional. I finally figured it out. I just fnished watching the second season on DVD and I feel like lying in a big field because it's rainng and I just want to go away. I am so confused about things. And I feel guilty because I feel confused about things that really are totally simple compared to a lot of other peoples' problems. So basically, I feel really confused and then I feel guilty for feeling confused about what I am confused about which makes me miserable and makes me wanna go lie in a field when it is raining. The best part is I don't really know what the hell I am confused about. I try to think of what I am confused about and I can't really think of anything except for one thing which I really can't make any decisions about at this point because there is no way for the situation to move forward.

Right now, I am hot and sticky, I have a head ache, and I feel like eating my mom's home made strawberry orange ice cream. So I am going to go change into shorts, eat some ice cream, and then go to sleep. Maybe watch Pride and Prejudice.

I really need some change in my life. Like, social change. Like, not just get a boyfriend because honestly I have lately been doubting how happy that could actually make me. I just...need somebody new. Like, a breath of fresh air. No offense to my dear friends who are reading this, but I need new faces. My mom talked about what it would be like to move up here to Massachusetts. My dad would send me to a legit New England private school. I would become a legit prep. Weird, huh? But the weirdest part, and the hardest part for me to understand, is that I didn't just instantly say no, I can't leave my friends and my school. I actually sort of thought about what it would be like to move. There would be new people to meet, to get to know, to hate, to love. But then I thought about all the friendships I have here building and getting stronger. No worries, everybody, I am staying, as far as I know.

I really need ice cream.