Prime Outlet Mall

Some cousins and I went to the outlet mall today. It wasnt as great as I expected. THe stores were all pretty boring. Things like Banana Republic and Ralph Lauren Polo. Even the Gap was really annoying, with all these bright ugly colors...but finally i found a great pair of boots
, a 3/$10 deal on soaps at Bath and Body Works (I got Midnight Pomegranate, Japanese Cherry Blossom, and Sweet Pea), Lincoln Park After Dark (a really really really dark purple OPI nail polish)
and a ridge filling base coat for nail polish, and last but not least a Pirates of the Caribbean 3 DVD and the soundtrack of the first Lord of the Rings movie. It was good.

The family is leaving tomorrow. Its a relief in the way that i will finally be able to relax (even though i actually wont since I need to finish my application to Deerfield) but I loved having them here, it was so much fun. We had sushi tonight (except for me, because I hate sushi, I had teriyaki chicken) and Katie, Jess, and I painted our nails and watched POTC3. It was good. Oh, and we had Key Lime Pie.

I have GOT to clean my room RIGHT NOW because otherwise it wont happen.
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“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"
-Dr. Laurence J. Peter

Family in town and impulsive bowling.

The other night was wonderfully fun. Began with watching my cousin playing Spyro on Playstation. Yes, the old spyro. Then we were just sitting around eating and talking about the craziest stuff...making fun of each other, being crazy. Then my oldest cousin's girlfriend came up with this idea that we would go bowling. This all went down at my Mom's cousin's house. Now, none of us had socks. We had to go to Target to buy socks, so we all picked some out and then we also got some for the guys, who had stayed in the car.
So we went bowling. It was so much fun. Totally hillarious. The girls and I were dancing and crazy and I was terrible, absolutely terrible, but there was this one turn i took where i was channeling some...bowling God or something, and i hit like...9 pins. Then it went back to normal and I sucked again.
After all this Katie and Jess slept over at my house and K and I knitted and sat around and talked and Jess went to sleep early. It was good.


Then today. Today, we went canoeing. Now, I had never really gone canoing before (how on earth do you spell canoing...) and so when my cousin and I got into the boat and had to row back across the widest part of the lake against the wind, all did not go well. Katie and I started yelling at each other and got really pissed. Before all this, we had been rowing along singing and zig zagging and at one point we were pushing of the ground because it was too shallow for us to paddle otherwise...but so we were yelling at each other and rowing across this lake..it was intense. We had lunch, which was ok, but heavy and then we went to see Sweeney Todd. As you know from my previous post, I loved this movie. Loved. They...did not. I felt really bad because i sort of dragged them into seeing it..and it sucked because..well whatever. It didnt go as planned. Today wasnt so great. Maybe we are all getting sick of each other. But either way, I am knitting a scarf for myself and it is coming along nicely.

I've recently been feeling more of my old romantic...whatevers. Now that I have pretty much finished my Application to Deerfield, I feel like I can devote more attention to somebody. The only thing that gets in the way is that right now I am feeling a little like everybody hates me, and damn that sounds really stupid, but I just feel...out of favor. Ah well, what can one do. And now I have a really...depressed cynical feeling that the next semester is going to be terribly boring. I mean, what is going to happen in such a time, and then Im leaving. God. I am depressed tonight. Dammit.

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'Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If I were that woman I would love him alone and forever.'
-Francesca Bruni (played by Sienna Miller) in the movie Casanova

Sweeney Todd

I just went to see it in theatre. Amazing movie. Great cast. Directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp as the title role, with supporting actors Helena Bonham Carter (who I absolutely adore), Alan Rickman (Professor Snape to the young ones, Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility to the young ladies), and Sacha Baron Cohen (also known as Borat). They all sing their own parts, and although Johnny Depp isnt exactly a broadway performer, I thought he did quite a good job. If you go to my profile and click on my myspace, i have a song that he sings as my profile song. All the actors did a great job. I cried at the end. I approached it as a love story, that is all I will say. It's to be expected with me, being such a romantic and all. The sound track is great. It is rated R for violence, and though the whole blood spurting thing is there, it is highly stylized. It's not like people being blown up by bombs, it obviously adds to the story.

So I recommend it. and I leave you with the opinion that Johnny Depp is smoking hot, even as a whacked out barber.

Oh, note to Cpt. Sparrow fans...the eyeliner has returned. Enjoy, loves.

Also, having now bought a few of the songs, I have decided that despite my general hate of Broadway, I would absolutely LOVE to play Mrs. Lovett in a stage production. Her character is so...creepy, but...real. So real. And her music, her vocal part, is so...weird. The harmonies in such songs as My Friends are absolutely wonderful.

Christmas

So again, it is Christmas. Nothing is open, and being a Jew, I just sit around. Today I'm working on my application to Deerfield. It's really exciting this whole application. It's due on January 15th, so I am almost done with it, after that I am pretty much free to do what i want (any old time). I mean, obviously i want to end the year with all As, but I can just sort of...relax a bit, you know? I've been under so much stress lately with this whole application thing. To have it off my back....it'll be grand.

So here I am, sitting blogging in my Pajamas drinking a cafe au lait thanks to my mum. I've been feeling more and more like I did over the summer, how I want to just fastforward to where I go to college and start to have my own life. Or at least until I get a car. The whole...freedom thing. I guess it's because i am feeling over protected these days. For example, my mum doesn't want me to see Sweeney Todd because she thinks it's too violent. Violence. It's what I've grown up with, Im used to it, it hardly fazes me. Plus, with Sweeney Todd, I honestly think it will be artistic blood use, seeing as it is Tim Burton. Stylized?

OK, so to add to the list of what I am doing, I am now listening to Christmas music. I do love Christmas. I mean, sure, I don't believe in the whole story, but the commercial element. I wonder if I would have liked to be raised with Christmas. But I don't think so. I mean yeah, it's great but it seems like much more of a burden than Hannukah. I'll just continue to enjoy it from the outside. Which is good enough for me.

Happy Christmas to all who celebrate it.

Bloody Contrast.

Wow. I had the two most different days in today and yesterday. Yesterday, It was cold, which was good, but I didnt wear a jacket, because i didnt think it would be THAT cold, so my arms were freezing. Then my earring fell out, and i was all bummed because they are my favorite earrings and it just sucked. I was so sure I would never find them. Then, I got dirt all over me at fields, then I felt like I failed an American History test, then I had to write an essay in Dr. Dean's class. So I went home and I hurt my hands piping chocolate ganache onto cakes for my teachers. I did get a 110 on my Math project, but I kind of excpected it so...


Then today, I found my earring and helped my friend understand translating and transcribing DNA in Science class, I think I did really well on my French midterm part 1, I sang beautifully in Orchestra, I did well on the review for my Math Midterm, then I had fun at fields, then I got a 92 on my History test and an 80 on my Grammar test! Which is surprising because the past two grammar tests I got a 73 and a 74...so then I came home and had a great recording session for my Brahms Sonata to send to Deerfield for my application, and it was all good.

I wonder if I would like good days as much if they were every day. You know what they say, not having something makes it all the better when you do have it. Or whatever. I guess that's how it is. Even though it would be damn nice if every day were like today was.

Oh, but wanna hear the list of things on my mind?

Application to Deerfield, which entails
Music Recordings
cello
singing
Application Essay
Keeping grades up
Teacher Recommendations
Hoping that my SSAT scores are high enough
Getting everything done and ready to turn in by January 15th.
Moving
Keeping friends in order (not that that takes much. Just your usual 8th grade BS)
Maintaining a Social life (or being in denial about having one)
Keeping peace with my parents (see above parentheses)
Eating healthy (aka not falling into the Holiday Calory Fest, which I am already guilty of)
Cousins coming into town (so not really something to worry about, but its on my mind)
Oh, and maintaning my sanity would be good. Despite my recent emotional break down.

So despite all this, I am still pretty happy a lot of the time. There is this one kind of annoyingly vicious cycle where I get kind of bitchy when im stressed, then my friends get mad at me, then I make excuses, then they get more mad at me, then I get mad at them for not cutting me slack and it ends up snowballing into a big ball of viciousness. But then days like today come a long and its all good.

As is my usualy, I leave you with..well not a quote, but a movie. That has had me laughing for a good amount of time now. About 2 weeks.



VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE!!!!!

The terms that I hate. Part I.

So in my dealing with people, in my conversations, in my readings, I have come across things I really can't stand. Terms and words and phrases and punctuation marks. I give you now a beginning of a list of terms i hate. Part 1.

-Semicolons. I know this one is used a lot, but they really bug me. Just...annoying. The weird bit is that I use them a lot. I mean a looot. I quote Kurt Vonnegut:

"If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college."

-Complexes and Disorders: In all my talkings with Dan, I have realized that i dont really like the whole classifying people into different disorders. I mean, disease I can understand, but with the mind, how can you get so specific that you can group two minds together into one group? Isn't the mind so individual (unless you've been brainwashed by aliens, of course) that it should be nye impossible to group them together under one basic label.

-the word Analyze: It's so useful, which is annoying, but it seem so objective and impersonal.

-The words mature and immature: Again, useful at times, but it is hard to be clear about whether you mean it to have positive or negative connotations.

-Backpacks: another very very useful thing, but they bug me because they make my dresses ride up when I wear them.

-The spelling of weird. "I before E except after C", right? WRONG.

SO that concludes my list of terms that I hate part 1, and here is another quote that i love...

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? "
--John Lennon

Nobody Knows Me.

It's true, and it sucks. Not to get all emo on you, but I am such a drama queen that I always tend to put on a different face at school, a different one at opera, a different one with family, etc. It's not that i have been covering u myself, its more like...i accentuate different facets of my personality depending on the environment, you know? It's not a fake me, its just not the whole picture of me. So, my new goal is to always expose my whole self, all facets incorporated, etc.

Im worried that you dont understand what i mean by different faces. Do you take it as putting on a mask? Because that's not what it is, it really isn't. I guess...how can i put it better. It's...so say im this person, who has a hyper side, who has a quiet side, who has a cruel side and who has a kind side. In one envronment, i would be cruel, in one, quiet, in one kind, in one hyper, get it? It isnt different versions of me, its me but only part of me.

So since that is all cleared up, lets talk about finding who i am, as a whole. From what I have found (and bare in mind, i am as confused by all this as you are, unless you're Dan who studies my "mannerisms" so he probably has more insight than i do...depressing, eh?), I am this...quiet person. I know, right? Quiet? WHAT? Sarah! Nah. But really, i am sort of quiet, but i can be loud. Like, when im loud, im loud. Right? Get it? I hope so, but to tell the truth, if i were reading this and not writing, it, I probably wouldn't get it. Anyway, I can be cruel, but I really am quite compassionate. Again, this may be surprising to some of you, but whatever.

Now that I've figured this stuff out, my new goal is that I expose this person. So wish me luck, and here is a quote:

"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back."--proverbial

Ha, Right.

I have this terrible problem where i have this huge burst of energy to do something but then it dies down slowly and finally im just like...uh...nevermind. It happens with so many things. Homework, healthy eating, and writing movies. I can't write a movie. Not enough patience. I can act in them but i CANNOT write them. It's insane. I just..I hate what I write, it seems so cliched and just annoying. So yeah, for now the movie thing is off. Which is kind sad because it would have been loads of fun, but maybe we can just mess around with a camcorder and some free time.

Also, I have been having some sort of an emotional break down this week, its kind of weird, but i realized two seconds ago as i was typing that that I can look at myself and sort of think about it. I mean, obviously, its going to be biased, because its still me thinking, but i do get sort of an outside view. ITs as if somebody with the exact same morals and ideals is looking at me. Aaand that was kind of off topic, but whatever. It's like my dreams. I do that in my dreams. I sort of...I see my dream as a movie but then there are two mes, the one in the movie and the one watching the movie so i have two separate trains of thought running at the same time. Its pretty wild.

Do you ever have different dreams in the same location, and tha location is one that might not exist, or that you have never been to before? That happened to me, it was this HUGE mall, and i had a dream about it about a year ago, and then another like two nights ago. the plots were different, so its not like it was a rerun. Ha. Plots, reruns. Yeah, I refer to my dreams as TV shows.

Where' the clicker for my eyelids?

Ok, I cant end an entry with that sentence, it's way too lame. I do that a lot. Oh, I know what I can talk about. So it bugs me when people are like, "Oh, I'm so crazy, I'm seriously going insane" and I am totally guilty of this, but the thing is, crazy people dont know they're crazy, so how can you say you are going crazy and really be going crazy? Also, its like, crazy as opposed to what? Normal? What;s normal? ISn't everybody a little bit of crazy?

And I can't think of a nice witty thing to end with so i will end with these quotes:

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.
--Goethe

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
--Aristotle

CHANUKAH

IS TONIGHT. Yay.

Chag Sameach.

You know, last night I tried to count the ways of spelling Chanukah.

Hanuka
Hanukah
Hannuka
Hannukah
Chanukah
Channukah
Channuka
Chanuka
Hanooka
Channooka

lol at the last two.


Damn, I have no life.

Anyway, all you Jews out there (or observant..Christians...um..) have a good Holiday. Even though it technically hasn't started yet..

AS OF TONIGHT, have a good Holiday.

Making of a Movie, Part 1

So If you read my last post, you will know that I have been considering making a movie. Well, now I intend to put my plan into action. I am working on the script right now. I have probably gone through like 4 different beginnings, but I couldn't quite get it down. I am posting the script as we go along on my sister blog, so check it out if you want. Anywaaaay. So I want to sort of document how it is to make a movie as a teenager. Who doesn't have loads of money. I am very much looking forward to it, but there are some things I wonder about, like whether or not I could get away with filming stuff in stores downtown. And the whole writers block thing...ugh. But I am slowly making my way there. Another thing is, I will be working on it at school and people will be like, oh, I wanna be in it and im like uh, we aren't that close, and Im trying to keep it small. Maybe I can write another character in. It is tought to be honest. But I obviously can't lie about something like that, it just wouldn't work. So anyway, whoever is reading, stay tuned for more!

And now, for a regular blog blurb:

Im still feeling lost. The writing is good though becuse it allows me to sort of get away in my own way. And it will be something to put on my resume.


That is all.

I have had a brilliant idea.

I want to make a movie. With my friends. How much fun would that be? I was thinking about my friends...we have a writer, a few actors, an editor, a location person, a director, a camera person. I mean, what else do you need? I dunno how long it would take. I assume that if I kept people going, not that long.

I can't think of ideas to start writing, because I would love to write it, with help from out resident author, Jen. I have editing stuff on my computer, my Mac. We could film some at school, some at peoples' houses, some around town. Just for fun. It would be something I coud add to my resume, lol! I think it would be fun, but I dont know how my friends will react. And I would have to convince my dad to get a camcorder. But we could make it work. Anyway, wish me luck.