I am not so much liking blogger anymore. Not totally sure why the switch, but it is happening, so here is the link to my NEW blog. All old posts and comments have been transfered to the new one so please bookmark it as my blog.
Today it rained. My sister and I basically spent the morning on our respective computers. Then she had some work to do so she went and I went downtown where it started to pour. I jumped around from store to store, bought Ocean's 11, had too many yoghurt covered pretzels from the health food store, and got lost in the back streets. But really, what better way to learn a town than to get lost, right? I was going to stop at haymarket, but since it was so horribly crowded because of the rain, I went to starbucks instead and got some orange tea which burned my tongue to a crisp, unfortunately. I went to look at jewelry at the big jewelers in town...there were some really pretty diamond rings...
You know how I was constantly wanting freedom and whatnot? How I wanted to be able to do my own thing? Well guess what. Since my parents are out of town and my sister is working...well...freedum...i haz it. Sorry. OK. So I am sitting at haymarket cafe (again) with a laptop, some fresh mint from my sister's house that I am taking to my sister in law for making ice cream later today, and eating a muffin and drinking a cappy. Life's good. I might go across the street later to buy a bracelet I've been eyeing. I might not. See, that's the beauty of it. It's not necessarily to make trouble or do nothing, it's to have the choice. I am veeery happy. I like.
There are two moments of TV that I have watched that always make me cry. Always.
1: The transition between season 3 and season 4 of Lost when Charlie dies in the 3 finale, and then in the 4 premier when Hurley and Claire start crying. That ALWAYS gets me. And believe me, it's not just tearing up, it's crying like a baby.
2: The season finale of Grey's Anatomy season 2 when Denny dies. I haven't seen it in a while, but when I did, I didn't cry as much as with Lost, but I cried a hella lot.
This morning I woke up bright and early at 8:07 to have coffee with my mom, her friend, her friend's niece, her friend's friend, and her friend's friend's daughter. Catch all that? It's a fantastic little place. The atmosphere is very warm and cozy, which was perfect for today (cool, windy, clammy, grey, rainy). I had a cappuccino (which I discovered I liked in Israel..before I dont know why but I always stuck to lattes..) and a blueberry vanilla muffin, which was surprisingly quite reasonably sized. Usually, blueberry muffins are the size of about three eggs, but this was a modest single egg. It held me over without making me feel stuffed, which is great, and gave me a shot of caffeines since these days I hace pretty much no energy seeing as these days I am not able to get to sleep.
This is why I moved here, all these adorable little places. I bought tickets for a Bird and the Bee concert today.
yay.
I couldn't focus on my book (On the Road-Jack Kerouac), so I decided to write. We're in North Carolina now. Passed by South of the Border a while a go and are on the way to a Starbucks. Coffee in hotels that take dogs is deplorable. Mama told about how yesterday, the light was shining through a window into the breakfast area and it shone through the stream of coffee she was pouring and it made it look like Ginger Ale. "Not a good sign." So here I am, listening to music and quietly munching on the Twix bar I bought at the last gas station even though my mom told me not to buy and food. Then again, twix hardly constitutes food, right, mom? I have a coke zero (my new vice), too, but I dunno where it went.
Last night we stayed in a horrendous hotel. It was dirty and gross. Mama and Joan found two thongs in a bag in the sofa in the first room we were given so obviously we asked to switch, and in the new one, this morning, mama woke up and found a spider under her pillow. The breakfast was bagels, miniature donuts that had the flavor and consistency of cardboard, some fruit, some whole wheat bread, cereal, and some juice and coffee. Boring. Bad. We got out as soon as we could, which was unfortunately a bit to early to hit the Barnes and Noble a few miles down the road for their starbucks (they opened at 9).
As I mentioned before, my dad is driving a Penske truck up with us. Our (me, Mama, Joan) worry is that we will start following the wrong Penske truck. I have dubbed it the Proverbial Winsconsin Truck (don't ask me--Mum just started calling it the Wisconsin truck..).
I gotta say. Twix is better cold. Come to think of it, all candy is better cold. They should start keeping candy in fridges. They being the management.
The billboards out here are fantastic. There were some for vasectomies in this one town, and the doctor put his PICTURE on it, and he looked waaay creepy. Yeah, like somebody would want him going near their genitalia while unconscious...Then there was a South of the Border one which had a picture of a fish and said "Virgin Sturgeon and Unused Bagels"
I'm working on this project: see, I hoard fashion magazines like a packrat, so I figure, hey, I can't lug around these magazines all my life just because I like some items featured. A year ago, Melody gave me a folder that had collages on the covers inside and out and some organizing tabs with collages. The collages were made with magazine clippings, so what better use for it than to put MORE collages of magazine clippings in? So I sit here in the car clipping and gluing stuff down to cardstock and then storing it in the pockets. I also clipped articles that I want to save (interviews with actresses, articles on personal style by style gurus, fashion flashbacks for certain celebrities). I will store everything in those plastic protectors, you know? I even had this weird fantasy that once I am a famous actress renowned for my personal style, I could have it published, LOL! I am sure that with the number of fashion mags out there and the years I have left to live, I will take up more than one folder. But It is a good way to keep such things, don't you think? There was one magazine put out my Conde Nast, it was a one time deal called Fashion Rocks, which had articles on the links between music and fashion and I pretty much wanted to clip every article and every picture from every page, which of course, I cannot do, so I just decided to keep that entire magazine. I'll put it in one of the pockets.
Ah. The Swan. I love Carnival of the Animals, and Saint-Saens gave the prettiest one to Cello. Gotta love it.
We just got out of Starbucks. Mama wouldn't let me get anything because I have been eating too much junk food, lol. Just because I had a bacon cheeseburger last night and Mickey D's French fries the day before doesn't mean that I am eating badly :(
We've been following the ass of a Penske truck all day. It sucks.
Movie sound tracks are seriously amazing. I'm listening to the sound track for Zefferelli's Romeo and Juliet. Talk about transporting. I can imagine the movei in my mind's eye. I mean, yeah, maybe that's because I used to wastch it like 5-7 times in a row when I was what, 4? 5? But whatever. It's still amazing. Go look it up. Nina Rota composed it. Some of my other favorites are Pride and Prejudice (the new one, composed by Dario Marianelli), Corpse Bride (Danny Elfman, duh. If you didn't guess that one, I pity you.), The Darjeeling Limited (it's various artists, lots of Indian music, some Kinks stuff), Juno (again, various artists, mostly Kimya Dawson, again, some kinks, and this is an acquired taste, for shizz), Much Ado About Nothing (Patrick Doyle--his stuff is great, not always the best to listen to separately, but perfect for the movie), O Brother Where Art Though? (some fanTASTic bluegrass stuff), and most of the Zach Braff movies have great soundtracks. The list is a mix of songs from the movie and original movie soundtracks, but the soundtracks with various artists are a great way to find new stuff, but beware of the ones where you love hearing the song in the movie, but outside of it, it's stupid and cheesy. Some prime examples are Bridget Jones' Diary and Running with Scissors. Each has some good songs, but the entire thing...I mean, I love the scene in BJD where Rod Stewart's Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? plays, but seriously?
So now I'm laying here, trying to get out of the sun (it happens to be on my side of the car right now) listening to Modest Mouse and contemplating what style jeans to get. I need new jeans. My two favorite pairs are all getting worn in the thighs from a) being worn in the thighs, b) me trying to re-sew it which I recently realized weakens them further, in a way, and c) being even more worn. There are actualy HOLES. These two pairs...the first is from Gap and has zippers in the bottom, not one of those things I could get again, but it does give me a clue that maybe their other bootcut curvy short jeans size 7 would fit. But they are like...$45. I got mine on sale for about $10. The other pair is Mavi. The style I got is usually $98, but I got mine on sale for $15 from Macy's. Because I rock at shopping. Macy's sale racks are my friends. The Macy's in MA is HUGE. Hopefully I can get some cheap Free People stuff, too...oh and to add to the gravity of the situation, the Macy's website no longer features Mavi. Maybe I will end up having to fly to Turkey to buy them.
I just finished my Veggie Delight sandwich from Subway. It felt healthy, even though I don't think it was. Now I'm listening to my iPod on shuffle, another fun exercise I've had...Mushaboom-Feist; Camelot-Monty Python; Next 2 You-Buckcherry; Mi chiamo Mimi-Puccini; Lollipop-Mika; With God On Our Side-Bob Dylan. Schveet. I have been told that I have one of the most diverse iPod collections...I even have Basia from the 80s. A one hit wonder--my mom has her CD, and I used to really like it when I was lik 7, so when I got my iPod, I was all, hey, let's listen to this again, and whenever it pops up on my shuffle, I start crackin up, it's so...80s lol.
Half of me is hot and the other half is cold. I have the window heating me on one side (it is currently 100 degrees even outside), and the other half is bearing the full brunt of the air conditioner. I guess I should just grin and bear the heat because the cold is REALLY annoying...
Road trip blogs are so much fun...they remind me of my babysitting blogs, but longer. They are both times when I have time to write down all the thoughts I have. When I sit down to write a blog, it's hard to get stuff to surface..
It's sort of sad how little I write in my diary now that I have a blog...I used to write all the time...I have this really nice one from Israel...actually, the last blog I wrote..I'm going to print it out and paste it in because it really did explain everything well. My diary seems to be more of an outlet. Like, I don't open my diary and tell about my day step by step. That's not a diary, that's a journal, or a log. A diary is for putting the words of anger that you would regret if you said them. It's for going on and on and on and on about somebody you are in love with because your friends and family get bored with you, but you can't stop thinking about them. Your diary is a place to make note of your dreams and aspirations and goals. My diary says "thence" on it in hebrew, which is cool because it's from Israel, so like, from there, get it, get it?
We're 14 miles into Virginia.
I wish I could read peoples' minds.
Northampton has the most fabulous music scene...there is the Calvin theatre which is an actual theatre, there is the Iron Horse, which is a dinner theatre for musicians and stuff, there is The Pines which is an outdoor venue, and some clubs with DJs and whatever. I like the Iron Horse, even though you never know if you will get a good table. I now have a newsletter telling me what new concerts are coming up. Ingrid Michaelson performed at the Iron Horse a week ago, I was crushed that I missed it. The Bird and the Bee are performing in September...Dana Fuchs, who played Sadie in Across the Universe will be there in early September, but I don't even know if I like her music, I just guess that she has amazing stage presence. And that she was great in the movie.
We just went past a place called Spotsylvania. For some reason, my mom does NOT get that that is the coolest name ever.
Driving up Tamiami sipping my caramel frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso (I haven't been sleeping well--no surprise), I leave Sarasota. I see all of the memories. There's the sprint store where I got my first cell phone, the bubble gum pink one that I regret choosing every day. There's the Tiajuana Flats, which is in itself a memory. Here's the turn where would always go to Opera, which I will never take again (at least not for the same reasons). There are the oleanders that I wanted to be buried under until I found out that they only grew in the south, which ruined my plans. Ah. The movie theatre. Home of many good times, and many annoying times, and many boring times. Bad movies, good movies, stupid people, my best friends. All of them. Not that I ever went to the movies that much...sometimes I regret not having more of a social life, but looking back on the past 6 years I spent in Sarasota, I don't regret much...I mean, yes, there were the stupid decisions I made with regard to friends and boys but nothing big. Now we turn away from the main road and go out to pick up our dog out on Fruitville.
There goes the huge disgusting yellow Penske truck, containing the belongings we will need between now and when we move into our real house. It also contains my Father and his best friend, Harvey. Harvey's wife, Joan, rides with us.
This is the first move of it's kind for me. Before this, we left New Jersey, which I was hardly old enough to remember. Then there were those 4 crazy years that were sort of impossible to define...a year of transition, waiting for the boat to be built, then two years of living on a boat (probably one of the most influential experiences of my life--I learned independence), then another year, trying to sell the boat. Then, we moved to Sarasota. For a year, I stuck with home schooling. Maybe that's why the years before I started 4th grade are so confusing. There wasn't much of a structure. I was educated when I or when my parents felt like it. My education was really more of walking through cities in Georgia and Maryland and reading about the history of the settlers and about the civil war (we only took the boat all the way North to Maine once).
It is so damn hot in this car. My whipped cream is starting to melt. So is my mascara.
Anyway, where was I. So yes, I had a year of home schooling while living in FL. After I completed-ish 3rd grade, we decided to go to Goldie Feldman Academy. I went there for two years. It was easy, not very challenging, but a good environment for me to get used to real school and dealing with annoying people in my class. They were hard years. I had a few dysfunctional teachers, whose names will not be mentioned here. I will say that each of them meant well and was nice, just not...whatever. Let me say something about my life regarding school. Everywhere I have gone has been perfect for my time there. It was wonderful for what it was. So by the end of 5th grade, I had grown out of having a 10 person class. It had been a fantastic transition into regular school and I learned a lot, but 10 people? I needed more.
The next chapter was Pine View. It was daunting. I had heard all these tales about how much homework we would have, how hard it would be, but everybody said that it would be a good challenge for me, that I would make it, so I went. I switched from a school of 300 people to a class of 300 people. Looking back at 6th grade is not so fun. It's sort of embarrassing, but I guess it shouldn't be. I mean, I just hadn't figured things out yet. I didn't even bother to figure out who I was, I didn't care yet. It was beautiful oblivion. The day before 6th grade was over, I got myself a boyfriend, but as I learned later, it was only because of pressure from friends.
Then seventh grade, I broke up with him two months in because "things weren't working" but it stands to reason, since we were only in 7th grade. I lost a friendship because of differing preferences and regained an old friend because of class scheduling. I had some not so awesome teachers. Mostly. I was starting the whole self discovery thing, but not...so well. I didn't get it quite yet. I was proud. Correction: I am proud, I have always been proud, and I will probably always be proud, but I was obnoxious and noisy about it. Obnoxious is really the best word for me last year. Again, at the time, it was...not so beautiful oblivion. By the end of the year, some of my close friends were getting frustrated. I talked about myself all the time. Non-stop. It was disgusting. And I was a drama queen. I created an obsession to occupy myself. I mean, it wasn't based off of nothing, but really, it wasn't...alright, I convinced myself I was in love with somebody, when really it was only a slight interest. He happened to be taken, too. Which added to the drama. By the end of the year I started to get that I needed to reform myself.
That summer, I went to Italy and got to know better some of my older Opera friends. I have always been mature, but I think that that trip added to it. Any travel does, it adds to one's knowledge of the world, and to be on a trip with pretty much all people older than me, well...I got much closer to people who up until then had been only acquaintances. Then over the summer, I fell in love again. Not to sound sappy, but to explain my view on love, basically I think that love grows more substantial with experience. You gotta start somewhere, right? My big mistake: I told him. That sort of ruined my life for a month. The entire time, from the end of the summer on, there was the extra pressure of moving. In about November, I started the application to Deerfield. This brought on tension with my parents and bitchiness towards my friends. It was hard, but by December/January (cant remember), it was done. Then we had to start thinking about selling the house. Actually, January through May was good. Yeah, it had it's bumps. in April/May, there was the opera which brought on a huge load of stress. Rehearsals every day, lines to memorize, and missing my 8th grade dinner dance for opening night. It was hard because it was my last production in the Youth Opera. It wasn't hard...it was heart breaking. I spent all my tears on that. I didn't cry at graduation (I did the day after, but that was partially because of...rules), I didn't cry today, the day we moved (I teared up, but never actually cried-I just wanted out). This past year, I lost another friendship (not to the point of the last one, but it grew apart), and grew stronger in another one, got in fights with a third (the one that ended up being so troublesome in September) and made new ones altogether, ones that became so close in so little time, it's shocking to look back at. I had great teachers this year, and I learned a huge amount about everything: myself (I became subtler about expressing my pride although I did slip at times), people (i became more observant), and even regular school subjects. I have never enjoyed grammar (even though it cause my worst grades) or American History as much as I did with Mr. Wolfinger and Dr. Dean.
Reminds me of a song...sort of. Pretty irrelevant, really...
What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?
Except I'm not scared. I am excited beyond belief. I can't stop smiling, I can;t stop singing. I've been singing music from Chicago all day.
A chapter closes and another begins. A new adventure starts, I set out on a new quest. Before leaving the house for the last time, I stood in my room and collected all of the energy, good and bad, from the space and stored it away in my filing cabinet of experience. At first I wanted to leave behind the bad stuff, but then two thoughts hit me: I don't want to leave it for the people buying our house, and these are things that have formed me and who I am, so why do I need to let go? I can't ever really let go, I just need to adjust their prevalence. So I now have the last 6 years (or three years, depending on how you categorize: middle school or years in FL) stored away deep in me to call upon when I need to make judgement calls, or when I need to reflect upon my life. It will always be with me.
To all of you who knew me and are reading this, I want to thank you. Every single one of you (and yes, I mean each of you) have helped shape me in some way, have affected my life in some way. I will miss you all, even those of you I hate because of this. I wish you good health, good luck, and a good life. If it is meant to be, we will meet again.
Aaaand iiiiit's good, isn't it? Grand, isn't it? Great, isn't it? Swell, isn't it? Fun isn't it, Nowadays?
Nowadays....There's men everywhere, Jazz everywhere, booze everywhere, life everywhere, joy everywhere, nowadays....
You can like the life you're living...you can live the life you like. You can even marry Harry and mess around with Ike....
Yes. I have had Chicago tunes stuck in my head the entire day. I bought it the other day and watched it and have been listening to the sound track and everything...I love it. Love it.
